


Wizard of Sburb

by LittleUggie



Category: Homestuck, The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
Genre: this is what the refrance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:33:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9589034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleUggie/pseuds/LittleUggie
Summary: Pretty much just the Wizard of Oz with Homestuck characters.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my computer forever, and I do intend to finish it. I just need to watch the Wizard of Oz before I do, which is proving surprisingly difficult to find.

Once there was a young woman named Jane. Jane was by all accounts a sweet girl, as sweet as the treats she loved to bake. She lived with her father and her pet rabbit, Lil Sebastian in a nice house surrounded by other similar nice houses in a windy suburb by a lake in Washington. She lived there happily for many years, but as she grew older she began to yearn for something more. She wanted mystery and adventure like in her detective stories. Her father urged her to wait a little longer until she was full grown, but Jane was impatient for that day to come and grew irritable and snappish with her father. 

When her Grandmother heard of the young woman’s restlessness, she decided it was time for Jane to be groomed to take over the family business, a baked goods corporation. But the grandmother was a hard and cruel woman, often called the Batterwitch behind her back. She decreed that Jane must get rid of her “pet rat” before she could inherit the company. Jane protested and clung to Lil Sebastian as her Grandmother wrenched him from her arms and took him away, laughing that she would make him into a rabbit pie. When Jane’s father heard of this, he promised he would get Lil Sebastian back and set off in his car. 

Unbeknownst to the Batterwitch or Jane’s father, Lil Sebastian had already escaped and made his way back home, for he was an extremely wily rabbit. Jane was overjoyed to see him, but was worried about the Batterwitch whisking him away again and her father being unable to stop her. Normally a logical young woman, Jane was overcome with dread at this prospect and made the rash decision to take Lil Sebastian and run away. So she packed a bag with a few clothes and some snacks for the road and began to walk as the sky darkened with clouds and the wind began to pick up. 

She had not gotten very far when she began to tire. The walk had somewhat restored her sense and she was beginning to reconsider her actions. What would her father think when he came home and found her missing? Coming to a stop in front of a curtained storefront, she dithered on what to do. A bell chimed beside her, a woman had opened the door to the shop. Jane looked at the sign in the window. “Mistress Lalonde,” it read, “Seer of the Fortunate Path: palm readings, crystal gazing, and tarot consultations.”  
“You seem lost, child. Come in and I will assist you in the discovery of the true path you pursue.” 

The woman, Mistress Lalonde Jane supposed, certainly looked the part of fortuneteller in an elegant black dress with a deep purple shawl wrapped around her shoulders and secured with a pin of a stylized sun. Her lips were black and her eyes were similarly lined. The sharp lines winging out from the lid accentuated her inscrutable violet eyes, reminding Jane of an ancient sphinx. When the mysterious woman spoke again, Jane half-expected it to be a riddle.

“Also, it’s about to storm.” Well, that was disappointing. Jane was about to politely decline her offer when Lil Sebastian suddenly leapt from her arms and scurried into the depths of the shop. 

“Seb!” Jane hurried after him, finding him facing off with a big black cat that was… wearing a suit? 

“Oh, no, Seb come away from there!” The cat’s back arched and ears flattened. Lil Seb growled. 

“Enough, Jasper.” Mistress Lalonde swept the cat up in one smooth motion and deposited him in a back room and shut the door. Jane picked up her bunny and cuddled him to her chest. 

“I’m sorry about that, my dear. Jasper isn’t quite accustom to other animals, but that was still terribly rude of him to treat our guests in such a manner.” She smiled, and Jane decided she seemed nice if a little strange. “Now, why don’t you have a cup of tea with me and we’ll discuss how you came to be at my doorstep and where to go from this juncture.” 

“Alright.” Jane cautiously sat at a table draped with an orange cloth, in the center in yellow was the same sun design as the seer’s pin. Gold tassels tickled Jane’s legs as she scooted her chair up. 

“I hope chamomile will suffice?” Mistress Lalonde disappeared into the back room without waiting for an answer and came back carrying a steaming electric kettle and tin of tea leaves. She pulled down two saucers and cups from a cabinet and sat them on the table, busying herself with fixing the tea. Jane studied her cup. The pattern on it was strange, black tendrils reaching up from the bottom of the cup like smoke or the tentacles of a great sea-beast. Jane quickly put that though out of her head. 

“Oh, I have something to go with our tea!” Jane sat Seb in her lap and reached for her backpack to pull out a Tupper-ware container filled with shortbread cookies she had made earlier in the week. A stray sock tried to escape, but she stuffed it back in. She pried off the lid labeled with a faded J. Crocker, and offered one to her host who had finished pouring the tea. 

“Thank you, these will be perfect.” Mistress Lalonde took one and bit into it, studying Jane shrewdly. Jane looks away and drinks her scalding tea as quickly as possible. 

“Well, Miss Jane, are you going to elaborate on why you’re hear, or shall I attempt to deduce it using my eldritch powers of foresight?” Jane’s eyes widen behind her glasses. 

“How—“

“I believe I just mentioned eldritch powers, did I not? Now pardon me while I confer with the ancients.” Mistress Lalonde sets her tea cup down, closes her eyes, and lays her hands palms up before her. She hums softly. Jane watches in nervous fascination when a loud crack of thunder makes her jump in her seat. 

“I have SEEN.” The woman intones. Jane tries to calm her suddenly racing heart. This was all just silly theatrics, wasn’t it? No one actually BELIEVED in fortune telling. 

“I have seen a man. A strong, sensible man, brought low by tragedy and loss. He sits alone in an empty house ever mourning for what once was.” 

“My dad?” thinks Jane. “Oh, he’s probably back by now and wondering where I am. I didn’t even leave him a note!” 

“I see him,” the seer’s brow furrows and she seems concerned, “I see him clutch at his breast in sudden fright, he falls helpless and painfully to the floor, his fedora is knocked askew…” She trails off and opens her eyes.

“No! Dad! What happened?” Jane holds Lil Seb close. 

“That is all the ancients have deigned to share with me.” 

“I shouldn’t have left like I did, I need to go back!” Jane stands up quickly, knocking her chair aside. She grabs her backpack and rushes to the door. “I’m sorry, but I have to get back! Thank you for the tea!” The bell on the door has stopped ringing before Mistress Lalonde could even form a word. 

“Well,” thought Rose Lalonde, fortune teller extraordinaire, as she got up to put away the tea and cookies that Jane had abandoned, “I would have driven her home. I don’t like the thought of her running about in this weather.” She lets her cat out of the back room and fetches her cell phone. “Hope his number is still the same.”

“Mr. Crocker? This is Rose Lalonde, I don’t know if you remb—Yes, I own the building that was next to your father’s joke shop. I just had a visit that may be of some concern to you…” 

The wind had picked up with a vengeance by the time Jane got home. The storm sirens were wailing and tiny hail chips were stinging her as she struggled toward the front door. It was all she could do to hold Lil Sebastian as he squirmed in her arms. 

“Dad!” She cried out as she burst in the house. “Dad!” Lil Sebastian lunged and as she tried to catch him, but instead lost her balance and fell, hitting her head on a side table.

She attempted to right herself, but stumbled from dizziness. Falling heavily on the couch, the whole world seeming to spin. An unearthly blue light shone through the front window, she sat up and watched in confusion as a blue twister seemed to engulf the house, causing it to sway and shake. Random things flew by the window, but seemed curiously immune from the howling wind and from the laws of gravity and common sense. There is a flock of crows roosting on a metal structure. Then her father sitting in an easy chair smoking his pipe waves at her; she tentatively waves back. A cow goes by, then a person on, what is that a skateboard? She carefully makes her way to the window and peers out, but she cannot see the ground. There is only the whorling blue air. Then she sees her grandmother flying by, only then it isn’t her grandmother. It’s a terrifying grey skinned creature with long horns and sharp teeth, cackling and threatening her with a trident. Jane is knocked over as the house begins to shake even more, and she can feel now that they are falling. She grabs onto the stair rail and holds on for dear life. 

Then, suddenly, everything comes to a standstill. Jane stands, shakily. Lil Sebastian nudges at her foot, so she picks him up. Cautiously, she approaches the door, listening. She can’t hear anything. Had the storm gone away? What had just happened? Slowly she opens the door and steps out.


End file.
